To whom it may concern
[20/05/22] Hello! Good morning, good afternoon, and good night! Wherever you are, whoever you are and whatever you may be!
to be absolutely, mostly, totally and totes to tally, honest, i have absolutely nothing to add to this page.
The whole idea of making a site just because sounds great enough for me to waste whatever it may deem important for my existence...
To a cry very much heard by the ears of my conscience, made by an imaginary person i made up in my mind, this whole page will maintain the consistence of being absolutely primitive in its design. If you so desperately desire, do it yourself! Paint the town red if you must! but do it yourself!
Life always presented itself to me in a lazy demeanor, breaking through made me learn things in a natural way, which is a lot more rewarding than you may think.
Sometimes curiosity sparks productivity easier; When you are interested in something because you don't know how it feels, you feel attracted to doing it more.
That being said, half of the things i do on a daily basis are being made because of curiosity, hell, this whole page and my existence in the internet wouldn't be a thing.
Because! and only BE-CAUSE it feels good to kinda do this often, I may follow up this page with whatever I decide ill make for it. Probably more of the same, or maybe not...
Who knows, who cares! Maybe ill come back, maybe not... maybe i'll die in a lifetime's time, the world'll explode, life as we know it will lose all meaning and the universe stops moving, stops pulsating, all cycles stop and everything turns inside out, but if i can at least live for two seconds in the mind of a person, if i can culturally and societally shock the human race enough to remind me forever, i'll never die, and, to be honest to the absolute core
I profoundly fear death.
To whose life and prose will bring life to mine, I'll have you in my heart for as long as my human life drags me through this painful road called life.
When you lose a person you loved a lot, one of the things that hurt most is the fact that now nobody thinks about you on a daily basis. I hate feeling that.
When it doesn't, ill remember you some time enough so that no human person can pronounce the number of hours i thought of you. -SSH
[06/07/22] This... Unshakeable feeling... No matter how many times i bathe, i can still feel it, the blood running through my veins...
I've been... dancing a crimson vals with the grim reaper, because when the tears stop falling, only blood can suffice...
Going through the high echelons of society, gaining interplanetary fame, and receiving a prize, all infront of a camera... My plan, written out in plain crimson red on my envelope of flesh.
I went through this thought so many times, and my dream is finally grasping my ribcage: A dream of steel and sound, where nobody can find me, but only remember me. Its mesmerizingly beautiful, it still turns my legs into jelly. And theres no turning back.
Every word i planned carefully, through coffee-powered insomnia-induced nights, all turned suicidal thanks to the only apex predator the human race has nowadays: himself.
"Thanks to everybody, for giving me this prize, this... demonstration of pure steel, of my hard work, of everything i've put into it."
I panic, and open up the envelope. "Life, has its ups and downs, many times, i asked myself "Why do only the bad things stick out the most? It doesnt make sense! You live your whole life, separated from what you think is truly yours, and just as you are about to do it, life smacks you in the face... I hate it, and i want out. That is my true motive behind turning..." I pause for a second. I can hear the deafening sound of silence, a silence i knew. Personally. A silence i feel that is more familiar than most of my family. A grim grin is drawn instantly in my face. I win. "...into this. This.. creature, you may suppose i really am. But, alas, I absolutely am not. Since i was very little, i was obsessed with death. I was obsessed with it because I was fearful of it. Life, again, made me obsess over things that hurt me. In fact, the universe is quite an egoist, indifferent entity, that governs us over all, and i was the most punished over and around. I hate the idea that one day each and everyone of you will dissapear, and i've taken a stance over where the stakes will be for me. You will never forget me, and i will make sure of that." I start screaming:
SOONER OR LATER! Ignorance! Ignorance will kill us all! Thanks! and Goodbye!
Steel in my mouth, pointing up to the sky, where i'll live forever. Crimson flowers, scattering around. Ill live. Forever.
a milk white dream that breaks through my body. Thoughts that live inside and scream like children, children i'll have to ignore forever, but not for myself. I've lost myself a long time ago. Children i'll have to ignore for the bodies of flesh that tie me to this world, this flesh-scraping, color-blinding, crimson-raided world. Where i'll die alone and forgotten. Inmortality exists as long as one person remembers you, and even the most atrocious act is always forgotten, forgotten for other things, other things this blindingly cruel universe has in store for me, and for you. -SSH.